The Wanderlustless Wanderer
by NoTrueRandomosity
Summary: What if Jared didn't get to Wanda fast enough? What if she died? I won't ruin the ending. See for yourself.


_I will assume that none of you are delusional (enough) to actually believe that Stephanie Meyer would publish her own work on . Ergo, I am not Stephanie Meyer and can hold no claim over anything in this fanfic except the plot._

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><p>Gone. Just gone. I woke up, and I immediately felt the empty space beside me where her warmth had been. And as I felt the panic slowly rising up inside me, I tried to convince myself that she'd woken earlier than me and had just gone to the bathroom, or to the kitchen to get a roll. Without much success. I already knew she could lie to the Seekers when all our lives were in danger, but I didn't think she could really lie to <em>me<em>. And I was so stupid, so gullible, for having believed her. But the other couldn't have already got her on a shuttle—maybe there was still time! Even if Melanie wasn't willing to have Wanda back in her head, we could get another body. I didn't care if she thought she was a parasite—that could be remedied. I just wanted her _here_. With me. Rather selfish of me, considering our last conversation had been—

Goodbye.

Oh my God, she actually believed that her insane plan would work! But no—Doc, even Jared, and Kyle was there, too—they couldn't possibly agree to this! Jared might not want Wanda controlling Melanie, but I didn't think he'd want her _gone_! After all, she was the one who'd given him back his love!

I ignored conventions, ignored my outrageous, just-woke-up appearance—I just sprinted down the south tunnel.

They were all there, all the people who knew. Doc, sitting at his desk, his head in his hands. Jeb, holding his gun, completely poker-faced. Jared standing with his arms around—Melanie, now. And Wanda was...there! The cryotank in Melanie's arms! That must be her! Reckless, limitless girl—how could she have done that to me? How could she have just left in the night? I almost smiled at the cliché, when I heard Jeb's solemn voice.

"I'm sorry Ian. We all tried. But it just...happened."

And that is when I noticed how dull Wanda's tank was. I stepped closer, and _really_ looked at her. The soul that was Wanda was not glowing, like the others. She wasn't even floating. The smooth, silvery ribbon was unmoving, limp—

Lifeless.

I collapsed onto the cold stone floor, and didn't care the least.

Because Wanda was dead.

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><p>What a Romeo-and-Juliet sort of life.<p>

I'd read the play, back when Earth was only home to its own creatures. And, thanks to a certain long-dead William Shakespeare, I held on to a sliver of hope that the green light emitted from Wanda's tank didn't mean that she was gone. But only just. I was on the verge of leaving, myself, and never coming back.

Melanie visited often, Jared sometimes trailing in behind her. Because he didn't care. It was inconsequential to him that Wanda had paid for Melanie's freedom with her life. And had left me alone here, desolate, desperate, eating only when Melanie shoved the now-tasteless food into my mouth, and hanging on to the near-dead cryotank like my life.

Then, one day—it could have been days since the incident, or years; I had no way of knowing—Lily stopped by. Before Wanda, I would have said she looked like death, but now I knew what death was. It was the inanimate lump at the bottom of the can that used to be the Wanderer.

Lily didn't say much, just "hi," and sat in my room beside me. I had a horrible sense of déjà vu then, the scene reminding me of Wanda's silent mourning for the dead souls in the dark game room, all that time ago. And that brought on a shuddering sob, and I burst into tears, for the umpteenth time since that horrible day...

Lily interrupted my dismal musing by putting her arm around me. It was oddly comforting, the feel of her smooth caramel skin on my neck, reminding me of Wanda's touch...which made me cry harder. But I knew why Lily was here. When Wes had died, I had soothed her pain, and she believed she could do the same for me. But she couldn't—because I hadn't accepted that Wanda was dead yet. And I wouldn't until that little green light turned off. For now, I needed a miracle. If Lily could make the sickly green turn into that healthy bright blue, then I would be consoled. Otherwise, I just wanted to be left alone with Wanda.

As Lily got up to leave, she glanced at Wanda's tank, and frowned.

"Say, Ian, I might be wrong, but don't you think that light looks a little different? It looks sort of...turquoise-y."

My jaw dropped as I examined the light. She was right—it was a little bluer than before. Could it be...?

"I don't want to get your hopes up for nothing, and you should ask Candy, she should know, but maybe those cryotanks can heal, too. After all, those souls have some pretty weird technology."

I scrambled up and stood. She met my shocked gaze.

"I've lost Wes forever, but it might not have to be the same for you. Maybe she's still kicking in there."

I didn't even think to thank her for bringing my miracle. I just ran.

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><p>"Well...I haven't exactly heard of this happening before," Candy was saying hesitantly. I was sure my expression was aghast. "It's the same for all life in the Universe—people just don't come back from the dead."<p>

"Then what's happening to Wanda?" My voice was a whisper.

"I'm not really sure. What colour was the light before?"

"Green," I replied simply. Then I see her frown. "What's wrong?"

There is no green setting on cryotanks. At least, not that I know of. This could be a newer model, which changes everything... Anyway, judging by how she looked two months ago, I'd say the Wanderer really is, somehow, reviving."

I could not keep the joy and relief off my face. Melanie, now standing beside me, even smiled.

And I thought that maybe, this would turn out okay after all.

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><p>She really started glowing about a year later, by which time Jared proposed to Melanie, and their wedding was scheduled for after we find Wanda a body. I started eating better, and some days Lily—who was coping amazingly well—commented with a smirk that I was looking almost as good as I used to, before this whole mess. And for the first time in too long, I laughed.<p>

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><p>When Mel, Jared and Jamie finally brought back the body that was to become Wanda's, Doc asked me, in the middle of the operation, to hand Wanda to him. I found myself stubbornly refusing to let anyone else touch her though, and ended up putting her in myself, but not before looking at her silvery form first, memorising its beauty. And then, as soon as her soft tendrils latched onto the girl's brain, they collapsed. Wanda lost her glow again, and I didn't believe it. Neither did Doc or any of the others. We blinked a few times, but it was like someone had flicked switch, and Wanda was dead again. I sank to my knees, hyperventilating with panic. Melanie and Lily came towards me, but I buried my head in the unknown body and started sobbing. That is, until she started to talk.<p>

"Ian, why are you crying?" the unfamiliar, high-pitched voice asked.

Everyone in the room gasped. So my Wanderer wasn't gone?

"Amazing," Candy breathed.

I was too shocked to say anything. I just stared as Doc healed up the cut, and when he was done, I watched Wanda sit up and examine her new self.

"Do you like it?" I finally managed to ask, after everybody had left us alone.

She stayed silent for so long I thought she wouldn't answer. At last, "Well, that depends."

I asked the obvious question. "On what?"

"On whether I can do this." Then she reached up, slung her arms around my neck, and kissed me for so long that I was the one who had to come up to breathe.

"I'll take that as a yes," I gasped. But as we simply stared at each other, I thought of how un-Wanda-ish that had been—too bold, too impulsive, too..._human_. "What happened to you?" I asked quietly.

So Wanda told me how she had given up her life to save Melanie's, dying while Doc and Jared argued. One of them finally had the presence of mind to put her in a cryotank anyway, and from there, she'd lived simply through sheer force of will.

"You are my anchor," she explained. "No matter what I did, something, somewhere, always made me turn right around and come back to you."

And, later on, Doc and Candy even developed a theory about Wanda's soul that even Wanda herself agreed with. That in a last attempt at self-survival, her soul had retained its health just long enough to transfer Wanda's thought, memories, and personality into a body.

"So, you're mortal now, like the rest of us. How does it feel?" I teased her later, at Mel and Jared's wedding party.

She smiled grimly, "Actually, I never really was immortal." Then there was actual mirth in her eyes, as she said, "And anyway, I don't think I would have lasted long without you before, either."

And I finally accepted that no, this body didn't hold Wanda's bright, silver soul, but it was her, and that was good enough for me. So I said, "Would you like to dance?" and she pulled me into the middle of the game room, where Jared and Melanie were already dancing and laughing. I smiled. This was my Wanderer, no longer wandering. And I loved her.

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><p><em>This is my first fanfic, and this is the first time I'm going back to edit it after I posted it about half a year ago. I think it's better now, after I replaced "Mae" with "Maybe" and "tanking" with "tank." I admit that I don't find much time to write, and I have no projections on when next I will post. However, I would still love any reviews you have to offer, good or bad (I have finally learned to accept the benefits of constructive criticism), though I can't make any promises on when (if at all) I will respond to them.<em>

_About the story title: It was the first thing I thought of, and though I am aware that wanderlustless probably isn't a real word, I didn't have the heart to change it._

_About the chapter title (It's "Dead and Back Again" in case it didn't show up anywhere on the story page): I don't know why I felt the need to have a chapter title at all, since this is a one-shot, and doesn't really need one, but I should probably mention that I owe the inspiration for it to one J. R. R. Tolkien (the author of "The Lord of the Rings" and some other works—f you haven't read them, you should) and the full title of his novel "The Hobbit, or There and Back Again" (the prequel to "The Lord of the Rings", in case you didn't know). I'm sure you can see the resemblance._

_About the spelling/grammar: It's a new endeavour of mine to do any writing using British spelling and grammar, so don't be surprised if you saw any of that that you didn't recognise, especially if you're American. Believe it or not, I actually checked and double-checked everything this time. (Still, if you find a mistake I overlooked, please tell me!) Yes, I realise that "The Host" is an American novel, and no, I'm not British, but don't question me (if I wasn't loathe to use emoticons outside of emails, texts, and chats, I would use the winking smiley here)._

_And about now is when I realise that I'm ranting. So, getting to the point, thank you for reading!_


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